Tuesday, Apr 18 - 06:16 PM
I had fun sharing with my friends at a conference a happening that I had 2 weeks in front of my granddaughteríssecond birthday. It was obvious that Allison did not like tobe told "no". When anyone told her no, she lost it and wouldstart howling, not just crying, but howling.
I decided to run something by her that was a little bit on whatI would call the adult side of things, but then again, you cannever underestimate the power of a 2 year oldís mind either.
I said to Allison, "Listen to me, Allison. It is ok whensomeone says "no" to you because it is not about who you are,it is about what you do. In other words, what you do might notbe the right thing to be doing, but that has nothing to do withwho you are. Do you understand what I mean?
I was amazed at her response. She looked up at me with her big brown eyes, thought for just 2 seconds if that andsaid, "Yep!"
Of course, I wanted to be sure I wasnít imagining things andthat she really understood what I was saying, so I said it allover again. I asked the same question, and again she said,"Yep!"
I said for the third time, "Allison, now remember, when someone says no to you, you do not need to cry because it isnot about who you are, it is about what you do. Do you knowwhat I mean?" And she said one more time, "Yep!"
Frankly, I could hardly believe that she really got it thatquick and that young. The next day, her mother said, "No,Allison". And she started to cry. Then her mother said,"Allison, do you remember what Grandma said to youyesterday that you do not need to cry when I say no to you?" Allison, said, "Yep!" and that was the end of it. She stoppedcrying right on the spot.
Besides the fact she got this so young, it occurred to me thatthere are a lot of adults walking around who do not understandthis concept because their low self esteem behavior shows upwhen somebody criticizes them or challenges them. Just aninteresting thought to be logged in oneís self-esteem gallery.
Wednesday, Apr 19 - 09:23 PM
It really feels good to have friends. I have enjoyed being with a lot of old friends at the annual conference. It reminded me of all the networking with friends that my mother has done over the years and how that has impacted her life for the good.
I know that hanging out with friends is some of the best medicine for a personís mental health that there is. I would recommend it to everybody to make a point to look up old friends whenever and wherever you can. Itís a healthy thing to do.
I have had a great time and for that, I am grateful
Thursday, Apr 20 - 11:53 PM
I had a business associate come up to me today and said, "You need to do some damage control with Jane because she is upset because she wasnít invited early on to your team meeting." I was shocked and I got down right defensive. I said, "Whatís wrong with that woman? I sent herthe email at the same time I sent it to everyone else. I justdon't get it!"
My associate said, I donít need to know the details and youdonít need to defend your position. I just wanted you to beaware of the facts. When I realized I was so defensive, I wasa little embarrassed because that is not the normal way I wouldreact to something like that.
To me, being that defensive was a very immature thing to do andit bothered me that I did that. I finally stepped back fromthat and asked myself, "Now, what exactly are you embarrassedabout? Not looking good and wise in front of a peer associate? Having a normal human reaction?" I concluded it was all ofthe above and it was time for me to get real.
I was reminded that I have a right to my feelings whether Ilook like an idiot doing that or not. All of a sudden, when Iput it all in that context, it made sense to me. I finally letgo of my ego and the embarrassment and moved on. Good for me!
Friday, Apr 21 - 09:03 AM
I did stay awake long enough to learn a few things from Paulís tape. It was really some good stuff. He started by saying I should let go any past struggles, doubts and negative emotions from the past. Sounded good to me. I need to surrender the fight with myself over the weight stuff. Just simply let go and win. Use the time to get centered and get in touch with the power and abilities within me to do what needs to be done around the weight. Paul said that when we go within, we can access that power and achieve our ideal weight.
I know that sounds like some mamby pamby stuff, but you know, it made a lot of sense to me. It was a confidence builder for me. I know I need to do a mind shift here. I know your life is where you mind is. I know I need to love me right where Iím at.
When I do that, my body will talk to me and I know I will know exactly what needs to be done and I will do it. I need to think about this for a while. I keep trying to understand it, but it is not always clear.
Saturday, Apr 22 - 06:13 AM
A beautiful day to be reminded to love oneself and totally unconditionally love oneself and those you care about. Total unconditional love is a little different than loving someone because . . .
I realize that I do love my kids totally unconditionally. It is called total unconditional acceptance. I have told my kids growing up that there was never anything they could ever do that would keep me from loving them. Well, that is a pretty good place to be.
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