Monday, Oct 30 - 07:47 PM
I am walking through life right now really paying attention to what I like and don't like, what I want and don't want, what I am willing to put up with and what I am not willing to put up with and I am actually making decisions to change things for the better in my life.
I notice little things, big things, ordinary things and extraordinary things that are in my life and I am looking at them all with a scrutinizing eye.
It amazes me what I have been willing to allow to continue in my life that I just choose not to tolerate any more.
The clutter in my life is disappearing. It's about time, but I know everything is always in the perfect time that it was designed to be.
The relationships that have been in my life that I am no longer willing to tolerate nonsense in any more are changing.
The way I spend my time is changing. I do the important things first where before I was willing to save the best until last. I kept doing that until I found out that saving the best until last can cause you not to have it at all.
I kept toys and things to play with for years because I didn't want to break them - like my electric airplane. By the time I got around to it, my mother threw the plane out in the trash. Bummer--what a disappointment.
I waited to see a friend or one of my teachers. Oh, I'll tell them later how much I appreciated them and they died before I got there. Bummer.
I no longer intend to wait for happiness, success or anything else that is a good thing in my life. I intend to do more of it NOW! And so it is. And so it will be.
Tuesday, Oct 31 - 02:59 PM
Life is good and getting better. I feel more organized and
everything is more fun. I know myself better than ever before
and I have more confidence in what I am doing.
I guess I felt like I had confidence before in all that I was
doing, but I know I have more now. Maybe I am growing up and
gaining more wisdom myself as I go.
I am staying focused on what is important and not letting
myself get distracted as much as I did in the past from
people, places and things. I can do that better now because I
have taken the drama out of everything. I see things more as
they really are and am not making decisions on their potential.
That is good.
It is what it is and I am not resisting reality like I was
before. Resistance causes me stress and sadness so I figured
out that I didn't need that any more. And so it is. And so it will continue to be.
Wednesday, Nov 1 - 01:11 PM
I am getting in touch with lessons that I didn't learn, that I really needed to learn when I was a child. Now, I find that I still don't know some of these lessons that I need to know and I am not a child anymore.
I can blame my parents for what they might not have taught me,
but I know better than that. I know I am responsible no matter
what. I can get upset with the way I was so totally sheltered
from things, but that isn't smart either because that is truly
in the past and I can't change it.
I am convinced that all of humanity has core issues and those
issues are what we're here to learn on the big blue marble we
live on. Another thing that I have been learning through
reflection and more real life's experiences is that if I don't
pay attention and get the lessons that have been sent to me
when they are simple and not too difficult to deal with, the
problems that show up later get my attention because they have
become (over time) too big to ignore. I DO get them later, but
later is not near as good as sooner because they are no longer
simple and so it goes.
It is an interesting thing to watch, but it has rung true for
me too many times for there not to be something to it. I am
convinced that learning lessons of truth early makes for less
complicated problems later.
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