Sunday, Apr 30 - 06:01 AM

Well, I have to do something here. I canít go on like this.So, I decided to listen to some Paraliminal tapes by PaulScheley out of Minneapolis, MN. His material is absolutelysome of the best I have ever heard. I started listening forthe umpteenth time, the tape called ďMy Ideal WeightĒ. Ididnít even get through the 1st side. I fell asleep. Why doesthat not surprise me? I am determined to stick with this. Iwill get through these tapes. Right now, I have got to get outof bed and get to work. Enough of this already.

Monday, May 1 - 10:39 AM

I woke up and started listening to the Ideal Weight tape again.I got to the second side of the tape and fell asleep again. Iknow we have a tendency to fall asleep when we donít reallywant to get in touch with somethi ng we donít like to dealwith.

I just canít accept that is what I am doing because I reallywant to get back on track. I think it is the chocolate andother carbs that keeps putting me to sleep---been there Ė donethat before.

Iíll keep listening to the tapes. I know that will help mebecause it is feeding my mind with good stuff. I know for afact when we have good stuff in our mind, good things are morelikely to happen as a result.

That old Law of Cause and Effect is always in Effect! I amgoing to keep affirming myself in a positive way and lovingmyself in spite of the stupid things I am doing right now. Iknow that is important.

Wednesday, May 3 - 12:35 AM

I had a really profound experience today. I went to a Chiropratic kinesiologist and she did some muscle checking onthings I was talking to her about.

Because my weight has been driving me crazy for a long time, Igot into that challenge that I have had for years.

She said a very interesting thing. She said, "Why don't wecheck in with the body and see how much the body thinks youweigh." I thought that was a very interesting approach. Icertainly never heard of this one before.

Well, the muscle check said the body thought I weighed 77#. Isaid how in the world could that be. Don't know. It justdoes. Then she said that is probably when you checked out.

Checked out! What the heck does that mean? We figured I was inthe 6th or 7th grade about that weight and I said the 7th gradewas the worst year of my life.

I'll pick this one up tomorrow. Gotta get some sleep.

Thursday, May 4 - 04:15 AM

When I even say the words 7th grade, I cringe. I was afraid of everything in sight and everything that was going on. I was afraid I wouldn't get good grades; going from class to class with different teachers instead of just one teacher presented so many uncertainties for me; I hated the dirty showers we had to use for gym class. The kids in junior high were really snots sometimes.

I was quite a bit in overwhelm about the whole nine yards in 7th grade. It was the pits. As I reflect on that, I often feel a lot like that today except it is in a whole different arena.

On Sunday night when I sleep, sometimes I don't sleep very well because I am worried if my business will keep on providing for me and my family when I start another week on Monday.

I wonder if I can measure up in everything I am doing with all the people I work with. There are so many uncertainties. The economy stinks and I wonder how long it will take before it impacts my business in a negative way.

Stress is a royal pain. It is no fun and I wish things were different.

So what else is new. Obviously, been there; done that. It just seems to me like I ought to be able to figure this whole thing out. My gosh, how long has it been since I was in 7th grade?

Saturday, May 6 - 10:45 AM

I think it is time that I really take a hard look at what I am doing today in my life to make me so concerned and so full of fear.

Logic tells me I am still here. I am still doing ok, so what is all the worry about anyway. I have been told God never gives us more than we can handle, so why can't I get with the program here on that one.

Well, logic tells me again that if I really wanted to I would. Now, there's a novel idea for you. If I really wanted to I would?

That reminds me of some times in my life when I wanted something so bad I could taste it and guess what, I accomplished it. Maybe I better think about some of those things again and remember some of the good things I have forgotten along the way because life has a way of getting in the way.

I remember when I wanted to win the 4-H state entomology contest in Indiana so I could win a trip to Washington D.C. I wanted to win that trip so bad that I studied and studied and nothing was going to get in my way if I could help it.

The fact was a bed bug in a chicken house almost made me lose the trip. My mother came into the room where I was studying the night before and told me to go to bed. I asked her to give me just 10 more minutes and I would be done.

Believe it or not in those last 10 minutes I had read something in a huge college text book on insects that bed bugs existed in chicken houses. When it came to the test the next day I couldn't remember which insect was out of their ordinary environment but I remembered something was. I took a guess and got it right.

Going the extra mile really paid off. Really having the desire to win, really paid off. Never giving up and having the faith that I could do it really paid off. Having a vision to win the trip really paid off.

I know all of these things are important. I am glad I thought of this particular incident because it reminds me today of how important all these things are. When I applied it then, it worked and I bet if I get going on some of these things today, they would work just as well. I will have to think about that for sure and figure out how to do it.

Return To Diary Menu