Monday, May 22 - 11:52 AM
After all the junk that has been going on in my life over the last few weeks and things that I had to deal with that I didnít enjoy dealing with, I have come full circle on all of it and somehow I really feel empowered.
I am not letting these idiotic insane pellets shoot at me. I am standing up tall and I am going to work on and learn better skills to empower me. I know I can do it. I can do this. I can do this.
I know one thing and The Daily Guru said it yesterday to me in an ezine. He said, ďOnce you become detached from things, they donít own you any longer. http://www.TheDailyGuru.com
The technician said that the person I was having the problem communicating with on the job I was mirroring. I thought she was nuts because I would never treat somebody the way she treated me. She said, ďNo, no, no. You both are mirroring that you have not accepted your own greatest talents. I gotta tell ya, something snapped inside me when she said that and I have not been able to get that out of my head.
All I can say is that I started listing them in my head and I have a lot more power in me than I was giving myself credit for. So, I just started getting creative and I have been on a roll ever sinse.
I decided to get on the ball and clear out all the clutter so I can make room for this newly empowered ďMeĒ! I know clearing out the old is important before a lot of the really good new can get in. So, I am motivated to do it. I have put a dent in it over the last 24 hours and have more time to do more before Iíll have to quit and sleep.
The irony is that I just donít like doing this and everything is getting done anyway by me. I guess it just goes to show that when I want an outcome more than the pain it takes to get it, the motivation is there. So good. I can do this. I can do this.
Tuesday, May 23 - 07:18 PM
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about how I sometimes step back from what I am doing and I donít really know what I am doing. I go in and out of these stages ofclarity and it drives me crazy. Then I canít go back to sleep and have to wonder what the heck this is all about.
I do my level best and try to be patient with myself, but sometimes that patience just runs out and I get aggravated atmyself. Maybe thatís all a part of joining the humanity club. Maybe thatís what the philosophers refer to as patience is avirtue. Well, I donít know how to do patience right now. I am just gonna go take a nap and sleep it off. That sure is a brave solution to the problem now isnít it!!!
Thursday, May 25 - 04:05 AM
Well, for one thing, I know that if my mind werenít so busy, I wouldnít get in as much trouble as I do. The Mind Chatter in me could win first prize at the Olympics for sure if there were ever a contest in that department. I think too much and I know it. When I was meditating this morning, honest to God---and thatís a pretty good being to be honest to---my mind just wouldnít stop thinking. Now how in the world can you meditate if your mind is making TO DO lists? It was down right depressing.
I finally started talking to my mind, ď Quiet down, will ya! Itís time to get quiet. Okóquiet mind------quiet mind-----quiet mind. That helped some and then I got going on all these brilliant ideas for the business. My gosh, whatís the matter with you today. This is crazy! Youíre supposed to be meditating!Ē
To calm down my mind, I starting saying Awareness, Transformation and Love. Awareness, Transformation and Love. I picked up those three words from a book I was reading, The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. He is a great author with great stuff. Keep reading the book. Itís really good.
As a review, he says the Mastery of Awareness teaches us to be aware of what we really are. It says it is the first step toward freedom, because we cannot be free if we donít know what we are, or what kind of freedom we are looking for. Makes good sense to me.
I can sure relate to that one. I went out to San Diego 14 years ago for a 6-month sabbatical to do just thatólearn how to be free and I am just now catching on to what that is about. I certainly donít have it mastered, but I am making progress in that direction. I am going to hold that thought for a while and take a break. I still need to work on that one.
Saturday, May 27 - 01:38 AM
Anyway, back to my meditation. . . . I kept saying Awareness, Transformation, Love. I really enjoy life when I am working on transforming out of one phase in my life moving into another. It is fun, refreshing and exciting. Of course, if I donít pay attention to things going on around me, I miss the fact that I am transforming. Then again, if I donít pay attention to life, I miss the fact that I am stuck. I guess logic tells me there is a question here to be asked. Am I consciously paying attention to life and whatís going on? Just in the asking can give me some significant answers.
Just like this morning going to church. I had the most hilarious trip I have had for a long time. I go up there several times a month for one thing or another. This morning, this truck was coming from my left with his right turning signal on. It was obvious he was turning. In plenty of time before he got to the intersection I turned right to go on my way and in just moments the guy is trying to move through my tail pipe and he obviously didnít like what I did because he gave me the finger. Charming fellow for sure!
So I am going the speed limit and that didnít sit right with him either. I decided to communicate with him with a smile, I might add, by trying to tell him his signal was still on. So I blinked my signal several times to get his attention. His signal was still going. I did it again and his signal was still going. I kept doing it until finally he got it and he turned off his signal.
Now, because I wasnít mad and I was trying to tell him to notice his signal, I waved to him like thanks for letting me in line type of thing. I thought everything was cool. I got stuck behind a car and he went around me, racing down the highway, and gave me the finger AGAIN! Then I couldnít help it, I just broke out laughing. It was too funny.
So, I asked myself the question, what can I learn from this experience?. And this is what came to me. Peopleís perception is their reality no matter what you do or say. He was already cranky so he probably thought all my car signals were being nasty to him somehow. I couldnít imagine that because I was happy. My perception was no problemóno big deal. That was MY reality.
It obviously was not HIS reality. And that is where we get in trouble with our communications. The human conditionósometimes it stinks and other times itís incredible, but which ever way it is going it is often determined by my perception of a person, place or thing. So, I just keep checking myself and asking questions. Gotta take a break. . . .bye for now.
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